Read this story about a supporter of RizeUp.
Mother’s day 2021, I returned home from an epic adventure to my two little loves and the man that holds my heart.
Trekking the Larapinta thanks to Inspired Adventures, has been awe inspiring, challenging, emotional and extremely rewarding. When I set out on Monday I vowed to trek for the many, many families we have walked alongside already and sadly the many more we are yet to..
I also made a commitment to myself that each day I would walk a little for myself.. to restore the fortress around my heart and my resilience to continue against odds that on some days seem impenetrable.
For the most part our group were strangers but as a collective we were united by our fierce commitment to creating better outcomes for the most vulnerable in our community.
As a group we were made up of 13 women and 1 incredible man... all led by Jack, the stoic German trekker with bucket loads of energy and a penash for reinventing accuracy around time and distance. In what soon became known as ‘Jack Time’ we were led like the blind through the palatial landscapes of the Australian desert. We woke each day to soulful beats from Jacks desert playlist and we were greeted by the expansiveness of our ancient land, of quartz filled cliffs looking down upon us as we refreshed in icy cold gorge water and followed tracks created and traversed by our original people.
Some days we were absolutely wrecked, our feet were sore, it was hot, we missed flushing toilets and warm showers. We missed our comfortable beds and loathed the bindis that found themselves in the most painful and awkward of spots.
Nicolle Edwards, Founder & CEO and Alison Daddo, RizeUp Patron
But,
We knew .... that the trek would end at the end of the day.
We knew.... that we would be returning home to be greeted with hot showers, comfortable beds and flushing toilets.
We knew... that our family awaited us eager to hear knews of our adventure and ready to wrap us with love
However...
We also knew...... that for the families we support at RizeUp .... they don’t have that same luxury of knowing that the hardship and pain they are experiencing will ever come to an end.
They face days and days of trauma and pain filled moments. As mothers, they watch their children experiencing pain and fear. They don’t know how or when their terror will ever end. They feel isolated and disconnected from their loved ones having been isolated by determined offenders driven by power and control.
Will they be safe? Will they ever be able to recover? Will they survive?
As a group we talked, we cried, we shared and most of all we vowed to continue the incredible work of RizeUp to create better and safer opportunities for families experiencing domestic and family violence.
To Philip Parnell, Debbie Kennedy, Carly V Nicole Rudd, Naomi Fowler, Jo Wormald, Sharon Barham, Tracy Kearney, Chantal Oosterloo, Jen, Ali Daddo Claire Willmott Weir, Nicole Cariolato, and Leona Reif thank you for helping me, thank you for believing in me. I will forever treasure this magical time we shared together. Thank you for raising over $43000 for RizeUp, for leaning in, for inviting your friends and family into this sacred space so that they could support you to reach your fundraising target. This money will be used to help another 10 families.. families who will treasure the warm embrace of new friends they will never meet. Thank you for your friendship and the care you had for each other.
My fortress is restored.
Yours in reason and justice,
Nicolle Edwards | CEO and Founder | RizeUp Australia| (Pronouns: She/Her)
Amazing support from ABC Brisbane, thank you We have been inundated (and overwhelmed) with so many generous offers and we are so very grateful to you all. Thank you all so much for your patience as we aim to get back to each of you. One of our biggest challenges for those of you who don't know much about RizeUp and how we work is that we currently operate out of 24 storage units dotted across South East Queensland... let's just say our Trucker team of Gareth and Deano are Tetris Champions... we used to have 33 before Lockdown struck and all our events were cancelled so we had to cut a few back to save our money for the families we are supporting. So not having enough available storage is a massive challenge. It's a bit of a tricky situation we need the supplies but how do we manage not having enough storage without spending our limited funds on storage.
Another big dilemma is having just one truck. We have one truck to do pick ups and the same truck that delivers furniture 5 days a week to the teams on site who are creating the beautiful homes for the 5 - 8 vulnerable families we support each week. Your very kind offers of donations would give our supplies a massive boost that we desperately need in order to continue helping the many families of domestic violence especially now during the Pandemic.
If you would like to help here are some handy hints that will help us on our side tremendously:
Please note, we only accept mattresses in excellence condition.. clean and with no rips or stains etc.
Please be prepared to hold onto your donation a few days so we can arrange to retrieve it... remember .. one truck....
If you'd like to help with linen we are looking for NEW Linen due to COVID-19 restrictions preventing us from accepting second hand linen right now.
Please also know that we can only accept your kind donation if you leave it outside so we are creating contactless pickups.
And finally..... in order to help speed up the process, if you could please send through details of your donations, along with photos and pick up info.
Thank you all so very much for the generous support. Together, we can change the ending for many more vulnerable families.
Donate: donate@rizeup.com.au or online at our website.
Thank you again incredible friends at @ABC Brisbane for your support of the work we do x
Our world is changing daily, and for most of us, social isolation to help combat the coronavirus crisis means staying safe at home with the people we care about.
While the health of everyone is important during the Covid-19 pandemic, we are very concerned about the threat to women and children who are being isolated in the home, potentially with a violent partner or family member.
For one in four women, social isolation means being locked-up in a dangerous place with an abusive partner, with no way to escape – with children possibly in the mix. Not only is a victim living with the threat of the pandemic, but also the potentially lethal threat of violence. Figures show one woman a week is killed by a current or former partner, and research shows that violence against women increases during times of anxiety.
These next few months living under Covid-19 restrictions will see a heightened risk due to financial insecurity, alcohol consumption and health concerns. Being forced to share space with violent husbands or family members for extended periods of time can only exacerbate already stressful living conditions.
In the wake of reports of domestic abuse as much as tripling in China during recent periods of isolation, RizeUp Australia is already seeing evidence of that disturbing trend here in Australia. We believe the impact of the coronavirus on women trapped in abusive relationships is a crisis, within a crisis - as financial and emotional pressures take their toll. Sadly, the pandemic has already resulted in a spike in the number of women – and their families - looking to escape violence in their homes. So much so, our charity, which offers a range of programs helping high-risk women and their children, is struggling to keep up with demand. In fact, it was difficult keeping up with demand before Covid-19, but in recent weeks we’ve already seen our calls for help from services increase by 20%. And with more people losing their jobs, being made redundant or working from home, and schools shutting down, the fear is these calls – and the violence against women – will further escalate.
RizeUp Australia’s primary focus is to reduce the incidence of domestic and family violence in Australia. At a practical level, we support families impacted by violence by helping them on their journey from violence to safety. To do this we have created an innovative solution that brings communities together, increases volunteering and makes real, far reaching and practical contributions to these vulnerable families. As a family leaves refuge, we furnish their new accommodation with everything they need to make it a home, so they can make a fresh start. We also support affected children by providing everything they need to happily settle into a new school.
RizeUp Australia is a vital part of the service system across Australia and has established strong partnerships with specialist domestic violence services, which enable us to provide fast, flexible solutions to women and children in desperate situations. We have developed processes and policies to underpin a safe, practical response, which enables us to work effectively with more than 360 volunteers and provide an add-value to service that existing specialist domestic violence organisations now depend on. Frontline services rely on RizeUp Australia to safely transition victim/survivors of domestic violence from a life of fear and violence to one of safety and community.
Since launching in 2015, we have supported more than 1030 families – all already linked to crisis services across Australia - press the “restart button on a life free from violence”. It is during times of stress that those at risk of family violence are likely to be most in danger, so it is vital women and children have the support they need to enable them to get to a safe place. Our RizeUp Homes Program is supporting up to eight new families every week, who are at the greatest risk of homelessness and homicide. But unfortunately, it’s still not enough as services are inundated with women fleeing violent relationships. While the below factors aren’t the cause of violence, they are contributing factors that may cause violence to escalate:
Financial instability / Job Loss
Drugs and Alcohol consumption
Physical / Mental Health concerns
Imbalance of power and control within the intimate relationship
Violence against women is driven largely by gender inequality, the hyper masculine need for power and control and societal pressure reinforcing rigid gender roles within the family unit. When there is disruption to these existing stereotypes there is an increase of violence against women. Using isolating behaviours and fear of the coronavirus pandemic as a guise of over-caring to further isolate the victims from their family, is a tactic used by violent men to control their victims. Threatening to throw the victim and/or their children out of the home to get sick is as equally terrifying as being trapped inside. Some violent offenders will also withhold money or medications from the victim or children. In cases of separation, there might be more withholding of the children by using social isolation as a controlling mechanism to stop access to the mother. For many women, they rely on their external friends and family to stay connected and this provides them with some sense of safety. Some women will recognise the different stages from within the cycle of violence and leave the house ‘until things cool down’ which for many is an effective safety tool that they would usually employ however now, with the Covid-19 pandemic women are trapped inside which will have a devastating impact on their health and safety and the health and safety of their children.
As I’ve already highlighted, there has already been a spike in calls to support services across the nation, and in Brisbane we have the highest number of women in motels than ever before. People are calling support hotlines because they are frightened and worried that they won’t be able to get to safety in time and away from the person using violence. It is hard enough for some victims to be able to get out and ask for support but even more so now when they are being monitored in a confined space and not able to safely reach out for assistance.
What is really important to remember right now though is that services are still available – how they are operating might look a bit different these days but they are still there and are still attended by the most experienced frontline staff who know best how to support the most vulnerable and at-risk people in our community. Many women who are engaged with domestic violence services are telling their advocates that they are feeling unsafe about what lies ahead but what is crucial right now, is to know that services and help are still available.
1800RESPECT (1800737732) is the National Domestic and Family Violence Helpline and identifies a number of issues and risks present for women and children during a disaster. These include:
Being blocked from accessing survival essentials including transport, food, water, heat and finances.
Being put at risk by the challenges of enforcing protection orders in a disaster affected environment.
Being faced by the return of men who have been violent in the past, as they take advantage of vulnerabilities resulting from the disaster, or their returning to take advantage of grant money.
The limitations and pressures created by being made suddenly homeless by the disaster.
Some advice for those who might be concerned about being confined to a space with their perpetrator:
Try and stay as connected as you can to the family and friends who are in your life by using FaceTime or video chat
Connect with online groups to break down social-isolation
Take breaks outside while maintaining social distancing.
Have a mental safety plan in place: Make note of the places inside the home that are easy to get in and out of during a conflict.
Create a safe word to share with your support network to let them know you need immediate help and for them to call the police.
Consider creating a safe word that can be recognised by the children so when mum activates the safe word the children know to go to the designated safe space within the house.
Keep the phones charged at all times
Ensure the children in the home all know how to use the phone to call 000 should Mum activate the safe word or if Mum is unable to do that herself.
If it is safe to do so, speak to your neighbours and give them permission to call the police should they suspect a violent incident is occurring. People need to know they are not interfering and it’s important to know that as the neighbour this is your business. Keeping women and children safe is all of our business. Now more than ever.
Most importantly – Be gentle on yourself!
When considering giving safety plan advice, it is important to add in a bit of a preface to allow for the woman to always be the one making the decisions that are best for her. There will be an increase in the amount of coercive control that is occurring within abusive relationships in this current climate so we (the broader friends, family and community) must never replicate perpetrators controlling behaviours by not listening to her needs and rather let the woman decide what is the best way to keep herself and her children safe. The safety ideas listed above may not work for every woman. Women’s safety plans are unique to each case. Always listen to what she is saying as she will tell you what will work for her current situation. As victims of domestic violence, women are faced with the burden of its complexity. But even more so now as we stare down the current health and economic crisis women might feel that their experience of violence at home is of low priority compared to the disaster preparation that is happening around them and then this might make them apprehensive to reach out.
As a society, it is imperative we continue to keep the increased vulnerability of women and children at the forefront of our minds.
How we respond when our friends and family reach out to us and disclose what is happening for them, largely determines what happens next. When our friends or family reach out to us, there are a few things we need to be mindful of. The first being that this current situation makes leaving a violent home more complex than ever before and we need to be particularly mindful around not jumping to the age old: “Why doesn’t she just leave?”.
Reasons that she might not leave may include:
The fear of the unknown
Even greater fear of loss of financial security
Fear of being sent to a location unknown, isolated or unclean
Difficulties of getting to a whole new location and potentially exposing herself and her children to the virus.
If she gets sick how would she manage the children on her own.
Fear of not being able to look after her children.
Fear of homicide if she stays or death if she leaves and gets sick.
It is incredibly important that we communicate in a way that reassures the person disclosing that you believe them, you understand how terrifying this must be for them and to reinforce that there are services available to help them when they are ready to ask. It is important to remember that this might be the first time they have experienced violence at the hands of their intimate partner. They might experience feelings of disloyalty or self-blame especially if they are no longer able to contribute financially to the family income due to a job loss. They might feel that the additional stress now placed on the person using violence is the cause and may justify this as a reason for the mismanagement of anger. There might be cultural factors that prevent her from leaving her husband as this would bring shame to the family.
During disasters there can be significant pressure from family and friends to deny or forgive men’s violence. During the Black Saturday Bushfires in Victoria women in some cases spoke of how they were effectively stopped from seeking support by the person they confided in. (WHGNE2011) With so many unknowns ahead during the coronavirus crisis, one thing is certain – RizeUp Australia will continue to be there for at-risk families. While some of our wonderful volunteers have been forced into lockdown due to COVID-19, with the support of the Department of Youth, Women and Domestic Violence, we have adapted our service delivery and will continue to provide life changing support for the most vulnerable families in our community and continue our support for the front-line services. Even though our fundraising events for the year have been cancelled because of the pandemic, stopping our work is not an option.
No women or child should ever be in danger in their own home, so in these terrifying situations, it’s important for them to know that help is available to them; there are people who care about them, believe them and will acknowledge their courage in leaving a violent life behind.
If you would like to learn more about RizeUp Australia, visit our home page or find out how you can volunteer or donate. With your help we can continue our life changing work to walk alongside vulnerable families fleeing violence.
Credit - Daily Mail
“A woman murdered in the driveway of her own home had tried to protect children in her care from a man accused of stabbing her to death.
Daily Mail Australia is forbidden from identifying the name of the woman, her alleged killer or how she knew the children she died protecting after a Melbourne magistrate imposed a gag order to protect the identity of the children”